Member-only story
I fell into a trap early in my career. I was wildly successful, well respected, promoted every year, and I was getting more and more responsibility.
You’re wondering, “What is the problem? That’s what everyone wants, right?”
Yes, you want to be successful, but you don’t want to be a jerk.
I was a jerk.
I was a tough guy (I still am, btw.) in a kill-or-be-killed environment. I reveled in the kill. I needlessly hurt people. I did it because I wanted to win.
I was young. I had a lot of growing and learning to do. And, I certainly wasn’t thinking clearly.
I knew I needed to make a change because I realized that needlessly pissing people off wasn’t going to get me where I wanted to go. So I decided to change.
I was still going to be tough, but I was going to go out of my way to be nice at the same time. My goal was eliminating the jerk piece.
Can it be done? Can you be tough and nice at the same time? Won’t being nice hurt your chances of success?
Being nice doesn’t mean you’re weak.
I did some deep soul searching, and I asked myself the question, “Has being a jerk EVER, EVER helped you?”
